Deflection

Not only are they not sorry they shift the blame onto you

In psychology, deflection is when a guilty person deflects their guilt onto the person accusing them or another person. They blame another person for their wrongdoing so they can avoid negative consequences.

A tell that someone is deflecting their guilt onto you is they try to make you feel bad when they are the ones who did something wrong. A rapist who blames the victim for being drunk or dressing too sexy when he committed the assault is using deflection to blame the victim for causing him to commit the crime.

Deflection is a common tactic deployed by narcissists. These individuals cannot take responsibility for their bad actions; they want to maintain their perfect image at all costs. Their lack of empathy means that they do not care who they might hurt as they deflect, as long as they do not take any blame.

The best way to deal with deflection is to call it out. Point out to the other person that they are using deflection to push their fault onto you, and you will not tolerate it. Often, this step is enough to stop them from doing it again, as deflection is only effective if the victim is unaware of the mechanism and falls for it. However, if they continue practicing this behavior, your best bet is to keep your distance or cut ties with them. Being in a relationship with someone who deflects can seriously damage your mental health and self-esteem over time.

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Originally published at https://lifeisloveschool.com.